I Don’t Remember

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I don’t remember watching you cry… In my head, my mind, I always draw the smiling you. I must be fool; the fool who always be sure that you’re smiling because you’re happy. I’m sorry, Jung Daehyun, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.

I, also, don’t remember when the last time I cry sorrowful but today. I saw you again in my mind… the smiling you and then I was slapped by invisible hand. I was questioning myself. How hard it must have been for you… How much that you held back before… Was it really bad, was it hurt you so much…

For me, you’re just a boy who loves music… A boy with a lot of dreams and can only run toward those dreams of yours without hesitation. I can always say I’m so, so proud of you. I just know you as a hardworking boy. I don’t know in order to reach your dreams, you also take the bruises, you let your wings get burn before its even spread fully… I don’t know you got hurt.

I saw your picture again as I was crying and mumbling your name, “대현아… 대현아… 대현아…”

I don’t remember when I began to cherish you, it does’t matter. I just remember why I cherish you as one of my precious person in my life. Watching you is like watching myself. You’re like a mirror to me. That’s why I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s the reason I want you to be happy and even if you can’t be, just… just don’t be sad by yourself.

I don’t remember I’ve ever cried so heartbreaking like this, I will never remember. I just did today. Because I’m so mad to those who hurt you, I’m so upset at how you smile and keep your sadness alone… I want to hug you, telling you that I’m here… I WANT TO DO SOMETHING BUT I CAN’T.

I just remember… There’s something I want to say, something that I’ve always whispered and wish you could hear me. “You’re so precious to me, to your fans and of course, to the people who stand by you now. It’s okay to not being okay. I’m gonna be here so you can take your time… for being the new Jung Daehyun whose wings have been healed and ready to spread and fly!”

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2 thoughts on “I Don’t Remember

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